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DISCONTINUED
OFFENSIVE T-SHIRTS
T-shirts
that just didn't make the cut or are past their prime... |
| What
the hell is a discontinued t-shirt? Well, it is one that is
past its prime, or just hasn't sold enough lately to be worth
still offering. We leave them hanging out around the site so
folks can see where we have stood in the past and can get a
glimpse of the entirety of our commentary. If you want to bring
a discontinued back from the dead, we're happy to do it for
you as a custom t-shirt here.
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GIL CEDILLO IS A MORON - DISCONTINUED
This guy is an obvious moron (a person of mild mental retardation
having a mental age of from 7 to 12 years) who continues to
introduce the same illegal immigrant driver's license bills
even after they are thrown out time and time again. We'd be
ecstatic to see a drunk, stoned, and unlicensed "undocumented
worker" accidentally run over Mr. Cedillo in a car that
the police we're not allowed to impound under his ridiculous
amendment to SB 591.
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GOT SKUNK? - DISCONTINUED
Everbody likes a bit of bud now and again and what better type
of bud to buy than a bit of skunk? Announce your acceptance
of marijuana as a damn fine drug and let folks know your down
for some skunk should they be sharing. Another freedom based
political t-shirt for only fifteen bucks!
|
 FREE
MICHAEL... DISCONTINUED
...Never Trust a Kid With Cancer... Well, no shit... that kid's
mom is out for a payday and she's attacking the biggest freak
in America. Whether he's weird or not, we don't think he did
shit and we think the money grubbing whore and her cancer kid
need to be put on notice... Get this offensive tshirt and do
so today...
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 FUCK
PRO ATHLETES - DISCONTINUED
Whiny little babies who make a paltry million or two a year
all the while complaining that fans don't like them, or that
they have too many expectations to live up to, or whatever other
issue it is that plagues them. These fucks are almost as bad
as celebrities. Get your offensive shirt today and let them
know what you think of their endless bitching. (Also
available in MILD with slightly different text)
|
 FUCK
THE OWNERS - DISCONTINUED
We don't like these over rich bastards either. They just bought
the team so they could score some pussy that was about 30 years
younger so why the fuck should I have any respect for them.
If they'd take the time and money to field a decent team maybe
I could give a shit. Give 'em the finger while wearing our offensive
tshirt to a game.(Also
available in MILD with slightly different text)
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HELP WANTED NBA - DISCONTINUED
Shit motherfucker, who got my weed? Did I accidentally shoot
someone in Vegas at All Star Weekend? I'm too stoned to remember.
Fuck... Offensive sports t-shirt number one.
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HELP WANTED NHL - DISCONTINUED
English is hard to learn. It is hot here compared to the former
communist nation I inhabited. Number two sports offensive t-shirt.
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HELP WANTED NFL - DISCONTINUED
I love steroids. They are good for breakfast. And I enjoy them
for lunch as well. Come to think of it, they make a good dinner
meal or nighttime snack. Offensive t-shirt three.
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HELP WANTED MLB - DISCONTINUED
Hey guys, let's go on strike again. It's been a good six months
since we walked out. Number four offensive t-shirt for pussy
athletes.
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 ELECT
JIM TRESSEL - DISCONTINUED
If you're from Ohio and haven't bought this t-shirt you should
be ashamed of yourself. The man comes to town and brings the
Bucks' their first National Title since '68 and in the process
beats TSUN for the second time in as many years. He also put
the question about "slow" Big Ten teams to rest by
beating Miami's "Florida Speed" all over the Arizona
Desert. Get this great t-shirt today.
|
 FUCK
STUPID PEOPLE - DISCONTINUED
Sometimes a simple and kind message won't work, so you have
to go straight to the core of the issue... FUCK STUPID PEOPLE....
they're blatant morons, they cause problems for the intelligent
beings, and they likely can't delineate any good reason why
they should continue to be allowed to exist. Maybe if we had
a season where hunters could shoot them we'd all be better off.
Get your offensive tee today... (Also
available in MILD with slightly different text) |
 NIGGARDLY
- DISCONTINUED
Look at this shit, a t-shirt substitutes for a dictionary. For
any idiot that is too stupid to understand that Niggardly is
not a "bad word" buy 'em a great fifteen dollar t-shirt
so they can understand some words sound bad -- but aren't. |
 FEEL
LIKE SOME DARK MEAT? - DISCONTINUED
If you're a brother with a kickstand for a Johnson, step up
and buy a tshirt proclaiming your ability to provide for the
common orgasm. Get a t-shirt that indicates your willingness
to give little girlies your dark meat and watch the ass you
pull in this great offensive tshirt.
|
 FUCK
SAND RATS - DISCONTINUED
Maniacal towelheads generally hate Americans anyway, so give
'em a big fuck you with our Fuck Sand Rats offensive tshirt.
All the nations that spawn these terrorists are ass backwards
anyway so who gives a fuck if we insult them. What are they
going to do, chase us down with some rocks and sticks? We don't
live in Israel so we're not so easy to send homicide bombers
after. (Also available
in MILD with slightly different text) |
 I
FUCK HOUSEWIVES - DISCONTINUED
Hopefully you keep an eye on yours or she might be my next conquest.
In this offensive t-shirt the world knows your mission is to
satisfy all the ladies who can't get the love they need from
the pathetic men they married. Give them a time they can remember
and announce it to the world with our quality offensive I Fuck
Housewives tshirt. (Also
available in MILD with slightly different text)
|
 MY
EX LOVES SUCKING COCK - DISCONTINUED
She was the epitome of a little cum-guzzling whore. She had
her lips around me everytime I dropped my pants and I swear
that girl loved sucking cock more than anything in the world.
I'll miss it, but you can only miss a slut so much...
|
 NO
FAT CHICS - DISCONTINUED
Simple statements are always effective. Announce your desire
to keep away the "Hefty Hotties" with this fine No
Fat Chics t-shirt. Guaranteed to repell all women above 160
lbs. |
 HOMO
PHOBE - DISCONTINUED
Maybe not the best t-shirt to buy for yourself, but it makes
a great gag gift or novelty tshirt for that guy that everyone
knows has issues. Buy one today, its offensive and its less
than twenty bucks...
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