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I
KISS GIRLS
Fuck is this tee hot. You so drive me crazy
girlie. Because just about the only thing I dream about more
than Asian girls, is hot little pseudo-lesbian chics and three
ways. I've seen you flirting with the boys all night while
you sporadically hook up with your little girlfriend in plain
view to get everyone bothered. Neither one of you has paid
for a drink all night, and I'm of half the mind to buy your
next round and see if I can close the deal. (T-shirt
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I
LOVE BLACK COCK
Our best selling girlie tee of all time is
this wicked "Pro-Interracial" tee announcing your
affinity for some extra special dark meat. It kinda breaks
my heart girl that I'm not gonna have a shot at that tight
little body tonight, but I'll deal. If you can't find a brother
to fuck ya right come back around and I'll give ya a bit of
help. The tee has been featured on a litany of porn sites
and in a number of amateur and gonzo videos. Get one today
and become your very own porn star.(T-shirt
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ATTENTION
WHORE
I love ya girlie. You make my nights out fun
as hell. I cannot tell you how cool it is to watch you saunter
off and grab kisses from other hot little girlies, to find
a sucker to buy you a drink, and to watch as you come back
over to hang out and with your cute little "whale tail"
panties hanging out of the back of your hella low cut jeans.
You may be a bit of a crazy chic, but the fun more than compensates
for it. . (T-shirt
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BITCH
I appreciate your candor girlie, and you've
piqued my interest. Thoughts swirl through my head as I wonder
whether you're really a "Bitch" or whether the tee
is just an announcement to give you ammunition to shoot down
the losers that approach you every time you're out. Fuck it,
I don't have much in the way of pride, and I have an insane
affinity for confident women, so let's see if I can't break
down your barrier and find a way to get myself home with you
tonight. (T-shirt
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I
MAKE BOYS CRY
Ouch. Well, I guess there have to be "Heart
Breakers" everywhere. Keeps the Yin and Yang of the world
balanced out. Just make sure you've gotten in your monthly
quota of man destructions before we kick it. I'm good for
a casual relationship, and some mind blowing sex anytime,
but when it comes down to getting to the point where I cry....
hmmm.... you better give incredible head and then take it
away forever.... (T-shirt
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I'M
LEGAL
Thank god girlie. Because it is completely
not worth it to be playing around with little girlies regardless
of how hot you are. And in all honesty, I'm probably a bit
too old for you even if you are 18, but whatever. I'm sure
there are plenty of guys who are rejoicing right now. Maybe
when you hit 21 I'll see you out at a club, but until that
point, have fun being "Legal." (T-shirt
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MY
BOYFRIEND...
...Isn't Here. Damn I like your candor
girl. And the open solicitation that you are throwing out
there. The fact that so many hot girlies have the same scruples
as boys I went to high school with just blows me away. But
damn do I love you for adjusting your view of the world and
of casual sex. Let me know anytime he bails, and I can meet
you wherever you like. (T-shirt
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SLUT
Its way too often I go out and have to wade
through the litany of girls who have issues. The ones who
don't trust anyone. The ones who think every comment is an
insult and can perceive a slight in a introduction. I have
a life, and a job, and plenty enough friends, and all I really
want from you is to fuck. So the fact that you're past the
bullshit that passes as discourse and banter prior to us getting
dirty together, I appreciate it. (T-shirt
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Brat
That sexy little confidence you have going on girl just makes me want to fuck you all the more. There isn't much hotter than taking Daddy's Spoiled Little Girl home with me and having her in all sorts of nasty positions and watching as she gets off riding my cock. But maybe that's just what I think when I see this t-shirt. Maybe you are just a brat. Maybe you just like to tease boys and play games. Who knows, I'm sure I''ll find out soon enough.
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High
Maintenance
Damn girl, I love a lot of women, but you are really close
to being something I cannot handle. If you are not 100%
smoking hot, there is no chance in hell I am dealing with
your bullshit to get a piece of that ass. If you are hot
though, damn, thats such a cruel trick to play on me.
I'm all down for being a good toy for you for the day,
but does it really take 4 hours to get ready to go to
the beach? Is there some reason you have to have everything
on the menu completely customized for your taste? Why
in the hell are you telling me again about how horrible
the people at your work are? Did you ever think you might
be the source of the problem? Whatever, fuck it, you're
hot, and I'll put up with an endless amount of your shit
to find myself inside of you tonight.
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I
Only Want Your Money
Ouch, well damn girl. At least I appreciate your honesty.
Now I need to get a shirt that says I only want your pussy.
But maybe that's tacky. Whatever. I guess if you're out
to be a gold-digger I appreciate the advanced warning.
And I suppose it is cool knowing you have no real expectations
of me so if I come up and buy a few drinks for you you'll
socialize for a while to determine if I have any cash
you can get. Whatever, best of luck on your quest.
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Men
are Inferior
Well girlie, maybe a little bit. But only insamuch I think
about sex a whole lot more than I should and that makes
me a tad easier to manipulate than a woman. But fuck it,
I am well aware of that side of myself, and I own that
flaw of my character. Should you wish to exploit me a
bit, lemme know. If I have enough knowledge of what you're
are looking for I might be up to play your game. That
said, you're going to have a lot of work to do if you
want to stay on "Top" because I'm not an easy "Bottom."
Its hard to be the Alpha in your day to day life and turn
it off at a moments notice for anything other than an
immediate reward.
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Naughty
This shirt is just enough of a tease that I have no idea
exactly how far I should go in approaching you. I mean,
the tight little fit, the fact I can tell you aren't wearing
a bra, and you look smokin. But what is naughty? Is it
a little bad in bed with your boyfriend? Or does it mean
you are going home with me tonight and will have your
ass in the air within about ten minutes of me getting
you in the door? Fuck it, one more shot of Jager and I'll
find out...
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Capitalist
I don't know if there is anything nearly as hot as a Capitalistic chic in the world. I'm damn partial to Asian girls, but shit, a girl with a singular mind for money and business runs neck in neck with even the hottest little Asian girls I am perpetually crushing on. (Don't even get me started on how I feel about Capitalistic Asian girls....) So if you want a straight in-roads to my heart all you have to do is sport this tee. Guaranteed to raise you attractiveness level in the eyes of small businessmen at least 10-fold. (Even the Motor City Madman agrees.)
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Castrate Rapists
What kind of low-life fuck do you have to be to commit any kind of violence against women? If I ever came across any fuck that violated any woman I knew via rape or physical violence, there'd be a good chance I'd be serving 10-20 on an aggravated assault conviction. I am so damn infatuated by women every day of my life I could not imagine every doing anything that actually hurt them.
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God is Dead
Well, maybe he's dead. Its kinda hard to have something dead that never existed in the first place. But since it drives the religious nuts all crazy when one of my girlies wears this out I thought I should keep it on the site. Any time I can drive a Christian as crazy as they drive me asking, "Have You Accepted Jesus As Your Personal Savior?" I am all game. So sure, God's Dead. Deal bitches.
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I Swallow
If only every girl was so damn honest from the get go girlie. And damn do I promise to make sure I keep a girl like you taken care of. Had entirely too many girlies lately who like to run to the bathroom, spit, and then use my damn toothbrush to clean themselves up. C'mon, I go down, you don't see me rushing off to gargle after. So thank you baby, you are a total all-star, and if you keep swallowing, you'll always be at the top of my list.
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Pro
Choice
This is the perfect simple tee for when you want to make
your ideology known without pushing too many buttons.
Sometimes communication is best served with a simple and
concise message and the bOffensive Pro Choice t-shirt
enables you to say what you want without any extraneous
information.
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My Body My Choice...
...Kill the little bastard. Damn girlie, I thought I was outspoken. But fuck, hands down you win on this one. I'm generally pro-choice, and if asked will let folks know, but you are all about getting up the ire of the campus bible thumpers. This one will work though. It is by far our most offensive pro-choice tee and if you can pull it off I give you mad props.
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My First Choice...
...for Feminine Protection. Have I told you how hot I thought girls with guns are? Maybe its some deep seeded D/s fetish, where I get a kick out of a confident aggressive and assertive woman, or maybe it's just because you look bad ass. But regardless the reason, girls that have the goods to pack the heat, yeah, you rock in my book.
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Take
Back The Night...
...Carry a Gun. Exactly girlie. It is damn refreshing
to marry a typical college campus crusade to a real world
solution so honest that it will have most people bothered
by its simplicity. How many "Victims" do you know that
pack heat? The Second Amendment isn't a random platitude
about your right to defend yourself, and folks that spout
off about gun control and regulation are the ones likely
to find themselves ill equipped to deal with the terror
of an armed intruder or assailant who wants more than
money and jewelry.
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Size Matters
I love the girl who knows what she likes and isn't afraid to express it. It's so hot to find women who are uninhibited about sex and can just get straight to the point. So if you're looking for size girlie, this shirt is the easiest way to let the boys know they needn't apply unless they are bringing the goods. And if you haven't found what you are looking for in your neck of the woods, let me know the next time you reach Sin City, there is plenty here that should be able to satisfy even the most discriminating of tastes.
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They're Real
Damn baby girl, that is a nice fucking rack. And if they are as real as your t-shirt says they are, I will definitely give you any amount of attention you need tonight. I swear, nothing is hotter than a hot bodied tight little girlie with a real rack that isn't bastardized by some fake cantaloupe sized balloons shoved under her skin. I dig real. I dig a nice perfect handful of perky soft tits. I never ever want to touch a cold crunchy fake tit again, it's like caressing a mannequin and that ain't my gig.
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